Back to life, Back to Reality.

It’s been just over two weeks since I landed on London soil (concrete, to be real) after three eye-opening weeks in New York City. It was a very enlightening experience. Amongst the many things I learnt, the main thing I’ve taken home with me is the idea of progressive motion. To me, that is what NYC is all about. It’s going, going, going, all the time. And it was a wonderful thing to be a part of. And although I wasn’t working, after my daily 3 hours of Improv Comedy , I would find a coffee shop and I would sit and write. Write about what I’d learnt, write about what being here the majority of the time by myself felt like, and write advice that the many wonderful people I had the pleasure of meeting on my trip were able to give me.

I definitely want to live there.

But I would only want to move to NYC once more established in my field(s), which is why getting an Artist Visa is my best option (aside from marrying someone, but let’s not even go there). The visa requires you to be nationally recognized in the field that you plan to work in once in the US. That means I have to fast forward 2-4 years, and think of what I want to be doing in the Big Apple. The answer is: A LOT. But it ultimately condenses to acting, writing, and producing.

So what happens now? Well, I have to become established in these things. I will continue learning, and I will continue discovering. I will continue bettering myself at my craft. I want to produce something, to be responsible for the initiation, development and execution of an artistic project. I recently discovered something really big, which is that the 5 year plan is not for me. For months, I’d been trying to create one. I was trying to decide and plan exactly where I’d be, what I’d be doing, would I be married, blah blah yawn. And as I was writing this plan, it just felt more and more unacheivable. It really did feel like a dream; one I would never get to. It was too much.

I figure: If you have a dream job or role, most likely it wasn’t fabricated from your brain in mid air. You’ve seen someone else doing it and been blown away and inspired to do it yourself. That dream job is someone’s present reality. So there is no reason why it can’t eventually be yours. Well, that is a lie. There are many reasons. But there is no reason that can’t be recognized and ignored.

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The reality of our inspirations is attainable in ourselves.

I believe that the end goal of any artist – making that title a career choice – is to be able to make the art they want to make on their own terms. To be able to freely share their manifested thoughts with the world. Free of any mental, emotional, social and financial limitations. It seems that the trouble arrives on the way to artistic mecca. Until you’re in a position where your art pays for your food, you need to eat. Some people have a regular day job, and then do their art on the side. Others find work here and there and work on the ‘starving artist’ gig. Which is better? It’s not my place to speak for the masses, but I personally need financial security to be able to afford acting and singing classes, and screenwriting books, and cinema trips, and the list extends. These are all investments in my reality.

So I’m back in London. I’ve nearly finished the first draft of my short film, and as I write, I have to continually wrestle with the voice in my head telling me that I have no idea what I’m doing. When this voice comes, I read another screenwriting article or watch another short film, to tell the voice that although I’m no Tarantino, I am learning.

I have a 12 week plan. It involves a list of things that I know I can definitely do. Things like, finish the draft of this short (3 pages away), begin creating my personal website (done), and get an internship at an entertainment production company (in the process). And the thought of 5 years is still in my head, but the weight of it has lifted off my shoulders. So I can enjoy this present reality, whilst still making progressive acheivable motions towards the reality of my dreams.

xo

2 thoughts on “Back to life, Back to Reality.

  1. lydiawarren

    Hi Abiola — I’ve just come across your blog after someone clicked to mine from the link on your site (thank you!).

    As a fellow Brit living in New York, I totally understand the struggles you’re facing. It’s so frustrating because you just want to get here! But instead you have to tick lots of official boxes rather than move forward in your career in a natural way. But as you’ve noticed, it is worth it when somewhere like New York is your end aim! It’s such a brilliant city to live in.

    Keep plugging away 🙂 Really good luck with it!

    Lydia (from http://www.todaysthedayi.com)

  2. Abiola

    Hi Lydia,

    Thank you so much! It’s so amazing to see your comment; to hear someone that has been able to do it. Yes, the feeling constantly running through my head is “surely the extent that I want this to is enough to prove to you that I deserve it!” But obviously, that’s not enough. So the hustle continues… But the more people I speak to, and reach out (thank YOU!), the more ignition I get behind me that tells me that it really is possible. It really is…so thank you again.

    Wishing you so much success, and see you when I’m out there! A x

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